


Closer Than You Think

by PantsTerror



Category: Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fingering, Sexual Content, semi-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 20:09:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9623522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PantsTerror/pseuds/PantsTerror
Summary: [Dcom; semi-AU]“You’re not fine! I know you’re not fine. And you might not think I know you, but I know why you aren’t fine, and… It’s the same reason I know I’m not fine.”He couldn't bear to look at her face as she said the words, didn’t know what he'd see so he just kept looking at the juncture of the doorjamb and the wall.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GrumpiestCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpiestCat/gifts).



> Inspired by the prologue in the booklet and could fit with GrumpiestCat's "Sigma & Diana: D plus 42h : 01m : 58s and counting." Highly recommended to read those in conjunction.

Hunched over the sink’s edge, Sigma examined his sclerae in the mirror. He knew no amount of trying to rinse out his eyes would make them any less red, nor would impulsively rubbing them. Not gonna go away soon enough.

Everywhere, she…

His muscles ached already from his too-intense sprint on the treadmill. Legs and lungs and heart.

If he just kept the crazy to himself a little longer, even if nobody believed him, maybe he’d avoid causing the catastrophe. Akane wasn’t nervous. Phi didn’t miss a step. So why couldn’t he handle the pressure?

Ah. Because he knew he wasn’t getting out of this unscathed. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d have to suppress the truth from himself. But why was it easier to hide his own masterminding from his brain’s contemplation than thoughts of  _ her _ ? He managed to live out forty-five years of setting up the AB Project without leaving so much as a hint for his younger consciousness that he was Zero (or would be). But here he was, not four days into  _ this _ experiment in the Nevada Desert, pining for his life with her so deeply that he could barely hide it. 

Sigma blinked, rolled his eyes around behind the closed lids, and looked back toward the mirror over the sinks. No change in his sunken, tired eyes.

At any rate, he was nearly done drying off. There would be no reason for him to stay here other than—well, other than she couldn’t be here. Or shouldn’t be here.

Why did it feel silly to think that?

If someone came in while he was putting himself back together, it might not be an ally. But he’d rather face the blinders-on face of Carlos, Junpei’s snide grin, or Eric’s aggressive smile than have to confront her for a while. Besides, while Junpei suspected something was up, he didn’t know everything like Akane did, didn’t have as many hints as Phi had. He could handle any of Junpei’s questions and play a fool to Carlos and Eric if he had to.

Careful what you wish for.

Someone was swinging open the door to his left. At the sound, he urgently threw the towel around his lower half and tucked its corner in. 

Of course. Who else would it have been?

She was no longer holding the water bottle or a smile when he allowed himself a brief glance of her as she stood in the doorway. And he had to glance; sometimes she still seemed like a specter dancing through the complex, light-footed wherever she walked and appearing when he least expected. 

With a very practiced, even tone, he managed, “Yours is on the other side.”

Had she been loitering outside since he started the shower? … Well, whatever embarrassment he’d feel knowing she’d heard him cry would have to wait. For now, he grabbed the pile of his clothes and attempted circumnavigation.

Diana stepped her foot directly in his path. The sound reverberated.

“… Y-you said you were in pain,” she said, her voice stern in its wavering.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Now as he moved the other way, Diana flung her hand out to the wall.

“I’m a nurse, Sigma. I’m  _ the _ nurse. No one else has to take it seriously. Now,” she asserted, taking a breath. “I need you to tell me the truth.”

Truth; she, fully clothed, finding him at his most vulnerable and trying to get him to say what wasn’t in his power to admit. If he did anything, said  _ anything _ , Akane would know, somehow, and everything would be ruined. Whatever happened in the facility wasn’t his to know, but he was betting that it didn’t involve meeting Diana.

He already knew when he'd meet Diana. Diana was his nurse after this, after his eye and his arms…

“The truth is I’m fine,” Sigma said. 

Diana moved and almost caught his gaze, sighing in exasperation when he refused to look at her.

“You’re not fine! I know you’re not fine. And you might not think I know you, but I know why you aren’t fine, and… It’s the same reason I know I’m not fine.”

He couldn't bear to look at her face as she said the words, didn’t know what he'd see so he just kept looking at the juncture of the doorjamb and the wall. 

“I’ll—”

“You can’t look at me, you can’t give me more than monosyllabic answers, you leave the room when I enter—and—and I know we’ve never met. I’ve never done anything to wrong you. I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so… so crappy about it.”

Oh no.

Her hand had tangled in her hair and upset the braid as she gesticulated. He never remembered seeing her like this, not even over the most frustrating of studies. But then, he supposed he’d never given her a reason to be cross with him, then.

Maybe it was worse to keep his promise not to speak to her at all. Her voice kept pitching higher. 

“I feel like I’ve known you. I’ve seen you in my dreams. Not just once, but many times, and every time I wondered if you were real. If I was real. And now that I know you feel like this… I…” 

She stepped curiously closer to him and the flush was rising to her cheeks at the freckles. 

Her hand reached up slowly enough that he didn’t wince but with swift intention of covering his eyes. He closed them impulsively, breathing into the relief of not having to look at her. Whatever she had to say would be infinitely more bearable with this point of contact, even if she would never suspect it.

She continued shakily. 

“I have to… know.” 

She must have risen to her tiptoes, because as she leaned into his body with her other arm buffering him from feeling anything of her, he could tell she was very close to his face now. That wasn’t an easy feat for a small-framed, 5-foot-1-inch stranger; but that wasn’t who she was. She came to him in a routine, and now was when he bent to make up for the remaining height and—

Her lips barely brushed his with the pressure of a feather. He couldn’t feel her nose for the hand shielding him, but he felt that her mouth brushed sideways as though there weren’t room for it. 

She made another pass where her lips stuck and pressed, and pressed hard. Suddenly he felt like he was breathing too much or couldn’t get enough air—one of those, while letting her softly kiss him, letting himself not- _ not _ kiss her back, not letting himself feel her lean up and onto his very naked chest. 

He felt her break her mouth away.

_ No. No, you can’t stop. If you stop, you’re going to be gone. _

He snapped his eyes open. She must have felt the eyelashes on her fingers, which were soon gone from his forehead.

She was staring at him and for the second time, he stared back. He’d go cross-eyed to see the blue in her eyes, like the atmosphere of the earth edging into space, the lonely new moon of her pupils, the crease starting to form below her lower eyelid. She was too close for him to see the blurred outline of her nose and cheeks but he knew what they looked like, could feel the heat bouncing off them and back to his own cheeks. 

She drew a breath and softly exhaled.

Before she could breathe again, Sigma grasped the hand of her arm that was up against him, urged it to move, and collapsed his mouth back on hers. 

Wasn’t always like bicycles.

“Ow—”

Diana leaned back when his teeth clacked but it was a momentary loss. He felt her teeth surround his lower lip biting chastising. Her breath warm around his nose, he barely closed his eyes before she was all soft-pout kissing him. Oh—his hands must have been gripping her shoulders—where did she like them to be? He pretended he didn’t know, dragged traces down her sleeves before snaking through to her waist. 

He'd deepened the kiss, now dragging his tongue inside her mouth, unable to stop himself from pulling her little body closer. She wavered, still tiptoe, and he bent more to compensate. And her arms were around his shoulders, and her hands were raking lines into his hairline, and it wasn't a white-walled bathroom wall she pushed him against but the other side of a sliding door in a research lab dotted with houseplants.

Wait.

This wasn't the lab.

This was Dcom. This wasn't where he met her. Even with his hands holding her body, he wasn't sure it wasn't a dream. Didn't he try to warn her he was crazy?!

He wrenched his head aside. “Diana…”

“You can’t look at me. I know, Sigma,” she replied urgently. She leapt back and turned curiously toward the door, turning the switch to lock it. “I never said you had to.”

From his eyes’ corner, Sigma saw Diana first stepping out of shoes, then undoing buttons on her blouse. 

This was… a trap. This was when she'd test him to spill it all. Phi didn’t know anything about this part—if had to have been Akane who told Diana, told her about how they'd been on the moon together for years, told her how fragile he was now and how he'd crack and explain everything if provoked. It would ruin him. It would ruin the experiment. Sigma might not have known what went on here forty-five years ago, but he could have guessed that this scenario, this batshit setup wouldn't be part of it.

On the other hand… 

It did seem like she knew little enough to be curious. On the treadmill when she'd asked instead of saying she knew why… and her words now—

Sweet jesus, her blouse was on the ground and she was just now slipping the band of her skirt down her full hips. Freckles on her shoulders around pale pink bra straps, she bent to cast off her stockings, set on the task with no mind paid to him.

He found his hand upon his face as though it would shield what was happening. But she continued, unhooking the bra—he snapped his eyes shut before he could see anything. He knew what her breasts would look like in sudden cold with nipples raised. He felt the tightening on his own chest.

“Diana, what are you—” he stumbled.

She moved to him again with those same ghostly steps. 

If he just kept his eyes closed...

“I just want to feel you.”

She closed the gap, embracing him with the whole of her naked body pressed against him, her head sidled against his chest. 

Sigma breathed the scent of her hair, felt her arms clutch him. Saw her in his arms with that deathly pale visage.

He suddenly realized that tears were streaming down his cheeks and his arms had come up not only to hold her body, but also her head. He tried to calm the heaving of his chest, but it was as if he'd never stopped crying at all after running away from the gym. Even if this was a trap or a dream or a nightmare, the smell of that same shampoo she used, the warm of her flesh pressed against him caught him in the memories of his past, a past that wasn’t hers to know about.

He felt fingers on his face; Diana, brushing away the tears, probably looking at him with her moonlit eyes and a pout. But he didn't look. Couldn't. 

Lips on his, and the hands now stroking his cheeks, now moving to his ears and tugging gently. She touched his neck, gently spread her fingers over his collarbone. Then her mouth was gone and he felt her hands back on his face, but rougher—

“Mmngh!”

Sigma braced his eyes against her playful fingers. 

Diana grinned up at him sweetly.

“Sorry. Couldn't resist,” she said, and took a step back.

He'd seen her hundreds of times. Memories, dreams, so many versions of this woman bared before him. But when he looked down at her, her fiery hair draped over her shoulders, her breasts, her belly, her limbs, the reflection of the small of her back in the mirror beyond, his eyes couldn't process it fast enough. In his dreams, he chased her for eons; now she stood unbridled within arm's reach and he was still unsure whether he'd catch her. His hands levitated out to grab her hands. 

Diana leaned back into him with her body, releasing his hands to trail her fingers up his arms, across his chest. Under her touch, Sigma calmed his breathing but felt the electric stirs of her attention. 

“I-is this okay, though?”

Her words snapped him out of his mind’s insistent memories.

“I didn't mean to make you cry,” she continued. 

Sigma tried the words in his throat, but saying anything would give his voice a crack. He blinked through still-dewy eyes before nodding, then bending again to kiss the side of her cheek. His heart beat strongly under her hands.

“I'll stop if you want…”

“Don't stop, Diana,” he said, soft enough that the echo didn't hit the walls of the bathroom.

Diana kept her hands working across the hair of his chest, palming his nipples intently before groping his abdomen, the top shelf of his hips. Well, now.

His erection raised the rough terrycloth of the towel to the point of futility; it opened and brought the corners down, the weight of it dropping to the floor as he leaned away from the wall. Diana's hands followed, sweeping across the top of his exposed buttocks and down until she held his flesh in her hands.

He couldn't help but groan, what with her hands lifting his buttocks, her breasts grazing him, her stomach pressing against his cock as it grew. She chanced to press him back against the wall again, craning her head into the crook of his neck. He felt her tongue on his neck and a weakness in his overworked thighs. He grasped at the flesh of her hips, unable to reach farther, knowing that if her arms were out of the way, he'd be able to grab at the back crevice of her, and he wondered if his fingers would pull up wetness.

She sucked and bit at his skin until he writhed and dipped her mouth in a hasty and deep kiss. To bend to her neck strained his back, so he muscled through sore legs to aim lower. Her skin was soft on his cheek; it welcomed his mouth as he laid strokes of his tongue across the fullness of her breasts. He freed his hands to brush her nipples, following with lip-guarded bites.

“Sigma,” she gasped.

Just like he’d hoped.

He pulled at her nipples and traveled his mouth to her collarbone. But her hand was fast to find his hardness, giving a gentle tug in return. Before he could register her movements, she knelt before him.

No, not like this. If she put her mouth on him now, he would have to shut his eyes—he’d never forgive himself if he closed his eyes and woke up with another one of his cruelly vivid dreams. 

He knelt swiftly to prevent her from touching him and looked at her for a moment before she sheepishly sat back on her heels.

“Do you want me to…?” Diana trailed, bending to put a hand on the ground facing away from him. Though the prospect of grabbing her bottom was promising, it wasn't the time for that one.

“No!” Sigma shouted. “No. I mean, I want to see your face.”

Diana straightened back up with raised eyebrows. “B-but I thought you said…”

“ _ Fuck _ what I said. Please.”

He pressed firm hands on her hips, drawing her in for another kiss that he felt more in his groin than his mouth.

Diana began to sit back, but he stopped her, broke away, and reached behind himself for that dropped towel.

“Wait, take this.”

Diana looked at the towel extended in front of her, breaking into a smile. “Oh, I guess I…”

She shook it and laid it on the tile, a makeshift surface that barely touched down before Sigma was easing her down onto it. Rather, she pulled at his ribs until he relented and was on top of her. 

A look at her hair swept back and away from her face was enough to make him swoop down for another kiss, but he was careful not to let his cock slip away from where it was lodged on her thigh. Her legs were parted and she pressed herself damp against his leg. If he moved too enthusiastically, he'd wind up inside her. And, well, if that happened, he was bound to get carried away by the consequences.

“I-I can't have kids, and I'm clean,” Diana yelped, suddenly.

But he knew. The divorce would have ended six months ago. And how they’d started trying on the moon and failed. If this timeline was correct, anyway.

“Please,” she said, rolling her hips up toward him. “Please, I… I want to feel you in me.”

Rather than jump to her request, Sigma drew his hand toward the inner corner of her thigh. He watched her mouth ajar, her eyes widen with anticipation, then nestled his mouth to her ear. She offered the side of her head to him, closing her eyes with a soft sigh. Each pull of his teeth on the lobe of her ear elicited a voiced breath from her, which made the pulsing of Sigma's cock more difficult to ignore. He brushed the hand across her thigh and pressed between her legs in a firm motion. When his fingertips slipped across her with ease, she squirmed into his touch.

“Please, Sigma, please,” she gasped, turning to look at him with a sharp gaze.

He guided his cock to dip slightly at the opening of her to catch the slick wetness there, then pushed up along the flesh to her clitoris.

Diana groaned lowly when he pulled away. Fuck; the pressure coursed along him as he doubled back. It must have felt to her a little like what he felt, the pleasure of gliding his cock against something smooth but hard. If she were climbed on top of him now, she would have ground onto him much the same to tap her clit without needing to use her hands—incidentally one of her hands wrapped around the back of his head, sending a chill shock down his spine. She moaned again, then again when he thrust back over the nub. It wouldn't be quite the same pressure as when she threw her full body over it. But she laid open to him, pulling him to her. She wouldn't fight to climb on top of him, not with the flush of her cheeks so intense already.

One last broad stroke of his cock ensheathed by her labia and he was pushing at her entrance. Ah, but if he made her ask again, she might not ask. He focused on her face calmly while pressing, easing into her. Oh, she was tight. He quickly pecked her forehead with a kiss, which was distracting enough that she relaxed, and the head of him was in her. Her body took him in with slow draw, squeezing.

Finally past the threshold, he gazed at her, flashes around his vision. He didn’t breathe, didn’t move until the corners of her mouth lifted slightly and she sent a squeeze around him. He pushed farther, didn’t even think he was inside that far but followed the urging of his cock to ease out, then back in again. 

He let himself moan with the next push, as the tightness, the goodness of her didn’t relent, and she didn’t break away from his eyes even to blink but held the little smile of her mouth aloft. Again he drove into her, and again, faster to where he felt her breasts move below him and his balls meet the low curve of her buttocks squished-on-tile. Already the sweat on her legs gripped him. 

Ah, but not to forget the most important part—he shifted his weight to one shoulder to free his hand, which flew down between them to seek her clit. He couldn’t kiss her anyway, not with how they aligned, not with how rough he jerked into her. His hand pushed knuckles over her, and the barrier of fingers slipped around the sides of him, and everything started to move too quickly.

He could feel the mounting blindness and pulled out of her immediately. Not yet, not yet, not yet. But he left his hand atop her pubic mound. He wasn’t going to let himself go there without her, without making her real.

Diana’s open mouth betrayed a whimper. He pressed his hand over the whole of her sex, which was wet and soft with neat, downy hair. Better than he remembered, messier. Another whimper when he moved beside her to watch her, to watch her body shake when he upturned his hand, fingers reaching down. 

He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “May I?”

Her hands crawled up to her jaw as though she could hide in them.

“A-ah… please.”

No time wasted, he plunged his central fingers into her, curling them up as he caught the rest of her in his palm. This vital, spongy inch of her was a favored place. He pulled gently until a gasp confirmed he was in the right place, then pulled up, up, up again, with strong rhythm. On his palm, he felt the seed knot of her clitoris hardening; around his fingers, she was slicker than before and pooling onto the towel below. Now, her face contorted, her eyes shut so tight and her hands clamped onto her face.   
  
“Breathe, Diana,” he reminded her gently.

She opened her eyes and her chest rose in a deeper breath, and her moment of rest gave way to tense bucks of her hips. He kept going, kept pumping his hand up and down, and whether his arm hurt didn’t concern him because it was  _ real _ , it was  _ his arm _ rocking her.

It was a small change, but now she met his movements uncontrollably and ground into his hand. She choked out, “—Oh!” and he felt the waves grip his still-working fingers, watched her heaving breaths of air as she came.

Her hands drooped beside her, revealing brilliant pink on her cheeks and a smile.   
  
“H-hah… hahah!” she laughed. Sigma’s erection strengthened against her leg, and he stilled his hand when he felt the last shakes of her body.

But in the silent moment that followed, the sting of tears dotted her eyes.

"Ah-hn-hng—” 

Her laughs punctuated gasps when suddenly, two rivers spilled over the sides of her temples.

“Diana?!” Sigma called. He froze with his hand in place. “What’s wrong?! Oh god, did I—what did I do wrong?”

“Nngh—n-no, it’s not y-you, I’m…” Her efforts gave way to sobs, like knives in his chest.

“Shh. Hey, take your time,” Sigma soothed. He kissed the top of her head and resumed watching her, painful though it was. 

“Wow. I’m sorry—wow… I haven’t… it’s been a long time since…” 

He resisted saying, “I know,” and instead went with, “It's okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I don't want you to stop…”

He pressed on his hand, still between her legs.

“N-not that. I… I want you inside me, again. Do you…?”

In the space of a breath, he was hardening against her once more. It'd start to hurt if it went unaddressed for too long but he'd hold off if she wanted. Anything she wanted.

“You sure? I can…”

“Yes. Please,” she said, “—say you want it too.”

Thank god. “Yeah—God, yes, Diana, I want to be inside you.”

Her hand found its way between them to guide them together, and this time it felt like she devoured him with ease, and deeper. He thrust steadily; hot, so hot already, he could feel the sweat building and leaned up farther so as not to trap her breasts. He looked down past her pointed nipples, watching her fingers pull at herself and hit his cock as he moved, then glanced back at her face grimacing with hard pleasure. He thrust more completely in and out, feeling her grip along the whole length of him, feeling the head of his cock hit a back wall inside her. Now her head lifted back and she strained as she met her fingers below.

“I'm close—” he huffed, “Do you…”

“Don’t stop, don't stop, don't stop,” she chanted. But her muscles pulsing around him gave her away—she was coming again against her own fingers, mechanically rocking around him. Her heels dug into his buttocks just as he realized they were there at all.

He let the continued motions of her fingers take him to the tipping point. He breathed into her hair, pushing up into her with the release of his own blinding spurts of orgasm.

When he opened his eyes, they were clouded with pained tears. But Diana had beaten him to that, too; her body shook slightly with quiet sobs, and her hand moved off her sex to cling to his back in an embrace. He gathered her in his arms, carefully balanced atop her legs.

“Oh god,” she cried. “Oh, Sigma.”

It wouldn’t be kind if he said he understood, as if he could mention anything about the times they'd made love before. It was all a first for her, now. She wouldn't like it if he proclaimed love or anything like it. So he let her cry into his neck for a moment longer before nuzzling against her head again.

As she moved her head to look at him, she left a smudge of tears on his shoulder.

“I’m here,” he hushed, resisting the urge to call her by her old pet name.

“I… I feel so strange,” she said. “I don't know why… what possessed me to follow you, and then…”

Sigma grinned. If he did a mental check, he could still feel himself inside her below while he held her.

“Is this crazy? I mean. It felt like you knew exactly how to… touch me. Is my hunch right?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I dunno. I can't say, and I warned you that I'm crazy, too, you know.”

“I don't think you're anything like that—oh, I’ve gone and ruined your shower,” she remarked, scaling her hands up his back.

“Well,” Sigma replied, looking down at the sweaty conglomeration of their bodies, “I thought you might want to… get cleaned up, too.”

A blush came back to her cheeks. “I-I can't walk over to the women's side like this!”

“Oh.”

He shouldn't have presumed, of course, that she'd want to stick around for a shower, much less at all.

But she stammered at his reply. “O-oh, I mean, unless you would, uh, want to, uh, I mean if you could just loan me some soap, I'll be…”

He stopped her with a peck on the lips. “Diana, shower with me.”

“Is that okay?” she asked.

“If you’re worried, you can say I had an… emergency medical concern. Besides,” he explained, “you locked the door.”

She offered a diffident smile. “Then, I think… I’d like to stay with you. Here.”

**Author's Note:**

> For all you Sigma/Diana shippers out there who wanted me to write another shower-but-not-quite-shower scene. Or anything other than cat pun porn. Lemme know what you liked!


End file.
